THE LIGHT OF THE DESERT

Section-7

All of a sudden the afternoon sun touches her delicately. The plane was flying at a height just below the ground level. The tinted roof the houses are shinning with the rays of light fallen on them. The greenery of the flora and fauna was distinct in the eyes.

The distant earth was dusty.

Fog or clouds––Not very distinct.

In front of her eyes, the left fan of the plane was moving in a continuous speed. The pointed part of the fan has turned   blackish colour because of the fumes touching that part.

Radhika herself does not know––what type of feelings she has harboured, should she separate into two like Jorakhonda.* Just like the stick of the flag her body is moving forward, but her mind is kept somewhere.

Radhika again returns back to her memories of the Jamia Millia Islamia. One such beautiful memory will really enrich her future life. For quite some time, she has treasured a secrect hope in the remote corner of her room to visit the Akshardham. That wish was truly fulfilled into reality–––and that with the person of her like. On the last Sunday of the special winter school, Radhika went to Akshardham with Tonnoy.

The next day after the valedictory session is over; she has not a single moment to spare. Anurag wanted that instead of wasting time she should return home directly. She has to take care of her girl; the helping hand has not come for two days, mother’s illness etc etc so many complaints on the plane. Willingly, she took the decision to return home two days late.

One hour from the Jamia Millia, a strong wind suddenly blew as they were travelling in the autorickshaw. It was March. No question of wearing warm clothes. But the unseasonal cold wind makes them shiver. To protect herself from the cold wind for half an hour, Radhika bend towards Tonnoy and put her head on Tonnoy’s shoulder. Stiff like a tree, Tonnoy have her shelter. In this shelter, one gets an aesthetic pleasure.

Why this wind at the odd hour?

Did the Phagun* wind arrives at the odd hour to take away the dried fallen leaves of her heart??”

As the autoricksaw dropped them in front of Akshaydham the wind was accompanied by a lusty rainfall. Somehow finding out a shelter from the rain after being drenched completely Radhika laughed remembering the moment when they were running hither and thither. On that day, the two turns into a pair of young lad and girl of 12/13 years old. Holding their hands together, they were just running towards the Bishnunarayan of Akshardham. There was not a trace of contempt in their mind.

Due to severe rainfall, there were a rush of people near the status of Bishnunarayan.Travelling quite a long distance from the gate and being drenched by the rain, passerby did not go to the main–––of Akshardam, rather they were crowding the coffee stall. Radhika and Tonnoy did not keep waiting. Being drenched by the rain to the heart, the two entered the temple with empty foot. Standing on a line, with folded hands the two murmured their prayers spontaneously in their own languages–––but wherein lies the prayer, and for what expectation––no one knews.

Radhika has no faith in after life. This is the only one life. Herein lays the heaven, and the hell’s experiences. But in this single life, she prayed to Bishunarayan for meeting Tonnoy once again. Even if old age will obstruct the road, still she hopes to see Tonnoy from a distance. Will the almighty won’t fulfill this hope of hers?

Suddenly before Radhika’s eyes, flashes back the Bishnu’s statue of the temple, which she saw on her days in college. But the temple was demolished five days before she came to Delhi. Suddenly on her way home, reaching that place when her hands automatically came for prayers and instead of the temple. She saw the last demolished parts of the temple she was shocked. After the temple is broken down. Where lies the Gods? Only in faith?

If this faith is lost, where??

Rain decreases. To escape from the crowed, the two seated on the steps near the pond. In this silent moment, Radhika automatically remembers Hare Krishna Deka’s that special poem which resembles with rain …

“It rains, when we are seated.
Grassland came to the mind.
Which was filled with mud soaked the grass.

But grass does not die pushing behind the mud, grass will relive and relish and thick.

It will be green…”

Radhika’s lost energy was like the grass that comes alive from the mud and becomes more green and fresh. Again she could find rain drops approaching her … one ordinary and the other of the heart. After the water of the rain drenched her, then the water of the heart becomes alive. The rainfall of the heart shook her bones. Where is Temperature? Temperature.

Returning from the world of imagination, Radhika saw that it was already evening and in evening atmosphere, the water fountains of the Akshardham was dancing in diverse tone of the music.

Suddenly Radhika’s ears were wet with tears. She hides those tears silently.

Tonnoy was restless, when he saw Radhika.

Putting her hand in his hand, he just spoke …“We will meet again my sweet heart…”

Returning from Akshardham to the hostel, Radhika started crying after putting the bolt of the door. The waves of the unseen heart … Jamuna which was not seen by anyone was rising high. Slowly she was submerged in the womb of Kalindi7 on that moment, the insane Radhika of Akshardham was repeatedly questioning her … why didn’t she remove the ring given by Anurag, when she met Tonnoy for the first time? Knowing the depth of Tonnoy’s love, why didn’t she wait for time? Why, did she become an urban daughter-in-law when she had only spent twenty seven spring of her? Why did she kill the inner urge of her life?

Same religion, same earth when globalization has converted the globe into a village, then why couldn’t she minimize the physical distance with her love. Eight years ago, sitting in the ground, Tonnoy was continuously looking at Radhika’s diamond ring and he was disappointed and his   heart broke, then why did not she understand the language of the heart? Today Radhika appears with real flesh and blood before Tonnoy, where to hide her??

Radhika felt very low in front of Tonnoy….at that moment did she felt tempted to be the wife of a high position officer Anurag chowdhury. Is it because of a dream that her parents aspired her to be happy for which she totally ignored the language of the heart. How is it possible? Why didn’t she return the ring to Anurag and became free of the chains? Why can’t she tell Anurag about Tonnoy? Is it because she doesnot wanted to break the legal bond for which she didn’t listen to her heart.And  after meeting Anurag, she transformed herself into water … in whatever container Anurag puts her, she will try to put  herself into it.

No, the seed of love that erupted in Bardhaman towards Anurag, it seems is just a moment’s excitement. In it there seems to be no real love. Eight years later Radhika understood that … in reality Tonnoy and Radhika … were perfect for each other. Actually a big mistake happened at that time … a mistake that cannot be repaired. The mistake happenned, because at that moment she couldn’t take a right decision. In a patriarchal society, this is the condition of women. But of course in the married or unmarried life of woman, the right to decision rest with only a few. And as such Radhika could not take a decision on any issue before her marriage … except for only one decision and that is to come to Delhi. She came, but the old wound again started bleeding … which obviously has no medicine. To repair this mistake today, Tonnoy and Radhika cannot commit another mistake once again. That’s almost impossible thing.

The inside temperature was rising continuously. It seems something caught her eyes. The plane might have travelled near the nearby range of the Himalayas. Looking outside Radhika could see that a large of number of small rivers joined together to form a large one. Is it a river or the Bay of Bengal? It must be a river. Is it the Ganges? Then what was the river that she saw before? Or is it the fertile land of the Ganga??

‘If in reality, it is the Ganga?

Keeping her hands again on her breast, she prayed silently.’

This much of coolness, only the Ganga can carry as she is daughter of the Himalaya.

Nobody knew the Jamuna, that was continuously flowing inside her heart. Who keeps on waiting for Radhika under the Kadaam8 tree? In a pathetic tone, who blows the flute secretly on her heart’s forest? Crazy is Radhika … she is the Radhika of the contemporary age.

Behind the name of Radhika is a gripping tale. At that time, Radhika was approximately six to seven years. Finding a photo of Krishna in the prayer hall, she fixed a triangular wooden plate on one side of the sitting room where she used to offer her prayers regularly to Lord Krishna of Vrindavan and on his hand lies the charming flute. Red Joba*, the much praised rose of the garden, with the Korabi9 flower, Kanai10 was not only workshipped, but there were also secret prayers for him as his universal friend. At that age, Krishna was a living embodiment and if one offers prayer to him, one can find her. Each day, he is offered new flowers. Later when she became older, Radhika did realize that … Krishna was not a living entity but a spiritual entity. Who could be prayed, but can not be possessed?

As she prayed to God, everybody in the house called her as Radhika. Her friends teased her as …‘O, Radhi’. She was sad.

She loves Krishna … and what more does she want.

As she grew older, Radhika understood … Krishna is a trust, Krishna is an omnipotent energy. And Radhika … is the heart of that energy.
In reality, deep inside the heart of every man, there exist a Vrindavan in the heart*.

Every person waits secretly for entering this Vrindavan and waiting for each and every moment … the rattle sings rhythmically.

Someone will enter in the solitary road of life; the heart will be filled up by an unknown person.

To her Radhika is the honest desire of the human life … the fulfillment of the desire.

Radhika is an eternal wait … for love.

Radhika is an endless search … finding out the meaning of life.

Radhika is a high peak … who remain erect with the head and near whom other head bows down.

It is the a real wait, an eternal wait

[Continue reading Section-8 or click eBook]

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